The New Adventure Begins

So a few weeks ago (man it already seems like such a long time ago), Grant and I got a letter from the state saying that our childcare assistance would be cancelled. It said we made too much. We just looked at each other really confused. But once we looked at the checks we had sent as proof of income, we realized that they were taking some overtime Grant had gotten as regular income. We both tried talking to our contact, but to no avail. It didn’t matter,, as of July 1 our assistance would be done. We had a choice. We could keep the girls in daycare, and I could keep working. Or, we could pull the girls from daycare and I would stay home with them full time. Now my dream has to be a stay at home mom for as long as I have been wanting kids. But it really became a dream once Isabelle was born. But we had to look at the numbers to see which would be best for our family. Once we crunched the numbers, we realized that it would be pretty close to the same either way. So then the decision became; which is best? Me staying home with them or them going to daycare and getting the social interaction? We had to make a decision quick because July 1 was coming and I still needed to put in my notice at work and also with the daycare if we decided that I would stay home. We talked about it all that weekend, and the decision was made; I was going to stay home. Gave my notice at work and the daycare that the last day for basically everything was June 30th. Now, the girls and I had to make it that far without getting sick or me just getting fed up with work. I was already on a warning for my attendance because the girls kept getting sick at daycare, so I was close to getting fired. With only three more days til they were done, Isabelle got a fever of 102. Since if I was to call in one more time at work, I would be fired anyway, Grant and I decided that it would be better if I just said that was my last day was last Thursday and for the girls too. So, I am now a stay at home mommy! I’ve been dreaming about this for a long time, and now that it’s a reality… Im super nervous. I’ve never been one for big changes, and this was a pretty big one. What if the reality was way different than my fantasy? What if I realized I couldn’t do it? What if I just sucked at it? Well, my friends, we are about to find out. Today is the first day of our adventure. I say today instead of last Friday because now Grant’s at work and reality is happening. And you know what? I’ve pretty much stopped being nervous. I get to be at home and watch my children grow. I get to see their silliness and playfulness, as well as their crabbiness and stubbornness every day. I get to see the smiles and the laughing and the random hugs. I get to watch Kensi start totally walking all around the house as opposed to just a few steps here and there, and I get to teach Isabelle how to use the potty instead of someone else doing it. Granted, as far as daycares go, the one they were at was pretty good. They loved my girls and my girls loved them. But nothing beats mommy and daddy and now I don’t have to listen to Isabelle cry when I leave for work. Or hear her say she doesn’t want mommy to work on the way to daycare. Im pretty damn lucky, and I know that. I plan to make sure that I remember that. I know there are going to be days where I feel like Im doing horrible, or there are going to be days that the girls are just being crabby patties. There’s always going to be bad with the good. Im not thinking this is going to be all roses and fairy tales, but I’m going to be with my girls and I cant ask for anything more than that!