Am I the Only One?

I was making my bed, and telling William (4) to get dressed or I wont put on "Gabby"....aka Gabby's Dollhouse on Netflix. It got me thinking of just throughout the years of being a Mom, the approach that Grant and I have taken when it comes to teaching the kids to do every day things is different from what I see online. Getting dressed, brushing teeth, making beds, picking up after themselves, clearing their own dishes...ect. Once William turned 4, I really started noticing how many things he should be doing but he hasn't been. Not because he doesn't know how or anything, but because Grant and I never really made him do it. I just got so used to doing it for him, and with having 3 kids, it's really easy to let things like that slide until one day you wake up and realize how long you've been letting it "slide". But now that I noticed it, I set about to change it. The girls have "morning chores" every single morning; get dressed, brush their hair, brush teeth, and make bed. William wasn't doing any of that. He wasn't even getting himself dressed at all. He has started to want to do things himself, and it coincided pretty nicely with my realization so I started to have him do things for himself. Now I'm noticing that I do things a little differently than I see a lot of people doing on Facebook. I don't have much of a reward system. I'm apart of a few Mommy groups on Facebook, and it seems like almost every answer to a "how do I get my child to...." is a sticker chart, candy, money...ect. I really don't do that. I tried a sticker chart once with the girls and potty training, but it didn't last long and I haven't done one since. I don't really believe in rewards for doing things they should just be doing. Now I know that with potty training, the rewards are more to keep them motivated to do it right, but it is really easy to get stuck with having to do a reward every time. It reminds me of trying to keep the kids in their own beds only to get stuck in the cycle of always having to lay in their beds until they fall asleep. It can, and usually is, a vicious cycle. That is a huge reason as to why I never start that reward system to begin with. My kids have never gotten stickers for doing their morning chores. They don't get candy for picking up after themselves...never have. Starting from when they were around 3/4, they started to have to pick up their toys or put their dishes in the sink after a meal. There has never been anything more than a "good job, baby!" afterwards. Now that the girls are 6 and 8, they clear their dishes (and now have kitchen chores after supper) and pick up after themselves with minimal bitching. They still complain about it, but they do it. It's hard for me to ask for help in my Mommy groups because I know most of the answers are going to be rewards, and that's honestly just not helpful. Plus, I know it's mostly just legwork. Doing the work to get the result. I have never found a quick solution to any of the problems I've come against. It's putting them back in their beds every...single...time they get out. Sometimes that takes 3 hours. It's asking them if they have to potty every 5 seconds until they actually have to go, then praise them when they do. It's sitting them on the potty while watching a show so they get the chance to go in the potty, then get that praise. It's telling them, then reminding them, after each and every meal that they need to put their dishes in the sink. It's telling them to pick up their toys and put them away at the end of the night, and then sitting and making sure they actually do it. It's basically having your life be at a little bit of a standstill while you raise the kids to be the adults you want them to be. There's no shortcut. There's no reward system that will make it go quickly and smoothly each and every time it's tried. Now I'm not saying you have to be stuck inside your house all the time. But sometimes doing these things takes time. You want the reward of your child doing what they're supposed to...when they're supposed to? Put in the time and effort to teach them. Because I feel like this is going to be mentioned at some point.... this is not a knock against anyone that does a reward system. I'm sure it does work for some, and they don't get stuck in the cycle. I just found that it didn't work for me and that doing things the way my parents did has been the most effective.