Am I the Only One?

I was making my bed, and telling William (4) to get dressed or I wont put on "Gabby"....aka Gabby's Dollhouse on Netflix. It got me thinking of just throughout the years of being a Mom, the approach that Grant and I have taken when it comes to teaching the kids to do every day things is different from what I see online. Getting dressed, brushing teeth, making beds, picking up after themselves, clearing their own dishes...ect. Once William turned 4, I really started noticing how many things he should be doing but he hasn't been. Not because he doesn't know how or anything, but because Grant and I never really made him do it. I just got so used to doing it for him, and with having 3 kids, it's really easy to let things like that slide until one day you wake up and realize how long you've been letting it "slide". But now that I noticed it, I set about to change it. The girls have "morning chores" every single morning; get dressed, brush their hair, brush teeth, and make bed. William wasn't doing any of that. He wasn't even getting himself dressed at all. He has started to want to do things himself, and it coincided pretty nicely with my realization so I started to have him do things for himself. Now I'm noticing that I do things a little differently than I see a lot of people doing on Facebook. I don't have much of a reward system. I'm apart of a few Mommy groups on Facebook, and it seems like almost every answer to a "how do I get my child to...." is a sticker chart, candy, money...ect. I really don't do that. I tried a sticker chart once with the girls and potty training, but it didn't last long and I haven't done one since. I don't really believe in rewards for doing things they should just be doing. Now I know that with potty training, the rewards are more to keep them motivated to do it right, but it is really easy to get stuck with having to do a reward every time. It reminds me of trying to keep the kids in their own beds only to get stuck in the cycle of always having to lay in their beds until they fall asleep. It can, and usually is, a vicious cycle. That is a huge reason as to why I never start that reward system to begin with. My kids have never gotten stickers for doing their morning chores. They don't get candy for picking up after themselves...never have. Starting from when they were around 3/4, they started to have to pick up their toys or put their dishes in the sink after a meal. There has never been anything more than a "good job, baby!" afterwards. Now that the girls are 6 and 8, they clear their dishes (and now have kitchen chores after supper) and pick up after themselves with minimal bitching. They still complain about it, but they do it. It's hard for me to ask for help in my Mommy groups because I know most of the answers are going to be rewards, and that's honestly just not helpful. Plus, I know it's mostly just legwork. Doing the work to get the result. I have never found a quick solution to any of the problems I've come against. It's putting them back in their beds every...single...time they get out. Sometimes that takes 3 hours. It's asking them if they have to potty every 5 seconds until they actually have to go, then praise them when they do. It's sitting them on the potty while watching a show so they get the chance to go in the potty, then get that praise. It's telling them, then reminding them, after each and every meal that they need to put their dishes in the sink. It's telling them to pick up their toys and put them away at the end of the night, and then sitting and making sure they actually do it. It's basically having your life be at a little bit of a standstill while you raise the kids to be the adults you want them to be. There's no shortcut. There's no reward system that will make it go quickly and smoothly each and every time it's tried. Now I'm not saying you have to be stuck inside your house all the time. But sometimes doing these things takes time. You want the reward of your child doing what they're supposed to...when they're supposed to? Put in the time and effort to teach them. Because I feel like this is going to be mentioned at some point.... this is not a knock against anyone that does a reward system. I'm sure it does work for some, and they don't get stuck in the cycle. I just found that it didn't work for me and that doing things the way my parents did has been the most effective.

I'm Worried and Sad and Mad....

I make sure to stay very quiet about my thoughts and feelings about COVID and the vaccine. I have noticed that it's almost impossible for anyone to stay respectful and decent when answering any comments on a thread. I read a lot of the comments when a news outlet shares a story, and the comments seriously make me shake my head. I've almost gave myself whiplash for how hard it shakes! It seems like society is really starting to go downhill. I see it more and more. It's starting to remind me of the intolerance from back when racism against blacks was running wild. I'm talking about prior to MLK, when it was widely accepted that they couldn't vote, or drink out of certain fountains, or eat in certain restuarants...the list goes on. I scroll on Facebook and see that exact same thing happening now. But instead of it being related to the color of your skin, it is all about whether or not you're for or against the vaccine or masks. It makes me really sad to see labels such as "anti maskers" and "anti vaxers" starting to become mainstream. How much more attacking and verbal abuse is going to be happening before people remember we're all human and entitled to have our own opinio? It's ridiculous to see someone be IMMEDIATELY attacked, and personally, for saying something that someone else doesn't agree with. Whatever happened to the phrase "to each their own"? It has become all but nonexistent, and that is not a good thing. With the rise of social media, it is way too easy to call someone out for something you don't like without there being any real consquence to it. I, for one, do love having Facebook because I get to keep up with people I wouldn't ordinarily be able to. But it also has a dark side, and I really don't think Mark Zuckerburg intended for it to be like that. People are being called stupid, ignorant, and sheep among a whole list of things. Can someone please tell me why people....and I mean grown ass adults....think this is ok? What are you teaching your kids? I'll tell you what you're teaching them. You're teaching them to hate someone that doesn't think like you. You're teaching them that calling someone names is ok. You're teaching them that they can bully the fuck out of someone, and it's ok because you're on the computer. You're teaching them that actions have no consequence. You're teaching them that being a bully is fine as long as no one says anything about it. Shall I go on? No? Ok then, I think you get the idea. We need to chill the hell out. I am so sick of seeing people act like they're the nasty bully on the playground. Guys, my daughters aer 6 and 8 and behave/act better than 90% of the people I'm reading comments from. That means that adults, that are raising kids and teaching them how to behave and act, are being way worse than children....lemme repeat that. THAT MEANS THAT ADULTS, THAT ARE RAISING KIDS AND TEACHING THEM HOW TO BEHAVE AND ACT, ARE BEING WAY WORSE THAT CHILDREN. I don't know about you guys, but that just breaks my heart. To see all the personal attacks, the sarcastic comments about others, the putting them down immediately, and the straight up vile comments become commonplace. That's not normal. That's not ok. You don't want your kids to be assholes and jerks? THEN STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE AND A JERK!