I am a wife and mother

I am a wife an mother.  I make sure laundry is done twice a week even though I know I should be resting.  I am a wife and mother.  I make sure my family is fed during the week without fail.  I am a wife and mother.  I make sure my kids brush their teeth and get baths every day.  I am a wife and mother.  I keep track of the groceries that we are out of or running out of.  I am a wife and mother.  I make sure my kids get outside and play.  I am a wife and mother.  I make sure my husband has his work clothes all washed and ready for the upcoming work week.  I am a wife and mother.  I put my own needs aside for the needs of my family.  I am a wife and mother.  I keep the house clean even on days where I'd rather be doing anything else.  I am a wife and mother.  I operate on very little sleep because I have no other choice.  I am a wife and mother.  I play with my kids even when there was so many things that need to get done.  I am a wife and mother.  For me, there is no such thing as a sick day.  I am a wife and mother.  I have two little girls that depend on me to keep them safe.  I am a wife and mother.  I hold the fort down while my husband works very hard each and every day.  I am a wife and mother.  I try to make sure dinner is either ready or almost ready when my husband gets home from work.  I am a wife and mother.  I stay up with my husband to spend quality time with him when I haven't seen him all week even though I have had a very long day and would love to sleep.  I am a wife and mother.  I kiss boo boos every day and wipe tears when my kids get hurt.  I am a wife and mother.  I love unconditionally, yet will dole out punishment if and when needed.  I am a wife and mother.  I am rewarded by "I love you mommy" and hugs and kisses and my husband telling me how much loves and appreciates me.  I am a wife and mother.  I do it each and every day because I love my family and would do anything for them.

Don't say it unless you mean it

**DISCLAIMER** Nobody has actually said this to me today, it was just a random thought I had while doing dishes......

You know what's super annoying?  When I'm talking to someone on Facebook, or through text, and they say something like "we need to get together!  I haven't seen you in forever!" or "We need to get the kids together and have a play date!".  I don't know if what's people feel like they should say to be nice, or if they actually mean it.  I'm all for getting together, even if it's just hanging out at someone's house and watching TV.  Or getting the kids together!  The girls haven't been to daycare in over a year now, so they don't get to play with kids their own age; with the exception of their cousin Mason.  So any other social interaction they can get is amazing!  For the longest time, I'd actually try and pin something down.  Or I'd tell someone to let me know when they have some time, and we'll get together, only to just never hear about it again.  I don't have a schedule.  As Grant says, I have nothing but time.  The only thing I have going on that I need to schedule around is my OB appointments for Tiny Peanut.  But other than that, I have absolutely no plans for the day.  I figure stuff out on the fly.  So nobody really has to work around me.  Since I have a lot of time, I also have no problem working around anybody else's schedules. 
I'm sure it's not intentional, and just time goes by without people realizing that a month has gone by without a word about it.  Well, I should hope it's not intentional.  If it is, then I'd feel like the most unwanted person alive!  :)  I'm actually looking forward to Isabelle starting school in the next couple years so she can start making friends and being able to play with them.  When we buy a house, I really hope that she finds friends that she can go over and play like I used to do as a kid.  Until then, I guess it'll just be us 3.

She's only 3 and I'm already stressing!

A while ago, my little brother told me that the school districts was changing it's policy about what kids have to be able to do by the time they hit Kindergarten.  From what I understand, what was taught in Kindergarten is now being taught in Preschool..and kids now have to be able to write their names, know the alphabet, be able to count...and a few other things I cant remember before they start Preschool.  Now, I haven't really been working with Izzy on a lot of that stuff.  We do when it comes on from her show, or just in day to day life.  But I haven't really sat her down and tried to actually teach her.  I try to when we're chilling on the couch, but her attention span isn't the best right now. 
I do understand why the need to be able to write their names, but what gets me is why they decided to make kids know more before they even hit school.  I know it's not the schools job to teach my children EVERYTHING, and that it's my job too.  But I'm already stressing that she wont be able to meet the requirements since it's more strict now.  Does that mean she wont get into Kindergarten when she's 5?  Do I really need to get her into Preschool when I honestly had no intention of doing so?  Do I need to start sitting her down more and trying to teach her..and when should I start that??  I know I already have enough to worry about; new baby, cost of new baby, getting a down payment together for a house, finding/buying a house...the list goes on.  Guess this now gets added to that list!

Are we playing with fire?

It's still crazy to me that we're already pregnant with our last baby.  Such a bittersweet pregnancy; super exciting to be pregnant again as I've missed it, but also it is our last baby so I wont be able to experience pregnancy again...well unless we have an oops or something.  But it has me thinking too.  We have such an amazing family dynamic with the two girls and Ace.  We can "tag team" them if we need to, and each girl has bonded more with a certain parent; Kensi to me and Isabelle to Grant.  We're such a happy family right now, is a new baby going to mess that up?  I like to think it wont, and of course our dynamic is going to change, but I'm still a little worried about it.  Could be because I'm a worry wart anyway, but hey...I wouldn't be me if I didn't worry :)  Our house is so full of love and happiness, and the new baby certainly wont change that either.  In a perfect world, both girls would absolutely love the new baby and nobody would feel left out.  I wont lie, that's exactly what I'm going to shoot for when baby comes.  Making sure that I still have time for each girl and that we play together too.  I never want my children to feel like Mommy doesn't have time for them, or that I love one child more than the others.  I know I'm not Super Mommy, but I'm hoping that I can help keep our dynamic pretty close to how it is now, with everyone being happy and knowing how much Mommy and Daddy love them!

I show my anger to the girls

Some days around my house are glorious; we all wake up happy, the girls are so good and eat their meals, I have every meal figured out beforehand, and no one gets into trouble.  Those are the days that make up for the ones that are not so glorious.  But I'm a realist, I know there are going to be days where I want to tear my hair out.  Or there will be certain things that happen that make me want to scream at the top of my lungs.  Take today for instance.  Some backstory: Grant knows how much I love Willow Folk.  So for each girls birth, he has bought me one to celebrate it, and he's bought me one for a couple other things too.  Today, Kensi decided to grab the one that celebrates her birth.  It is one where the mother is kneeling down beside the husband, who is sitting on the floor holding the baby.  Both girls know they aren't supposed to remotely touch them.  So I'm in the office printing some pictures, and doing other random things I've been meaning to get done.  I hear some beeping and know that they're messing with the dehumidifier, another no no.  So I get up, and right as I come around the corner, Kensi bolts from the dehumidifier into the kitchen, holding my Willow Folk figurine.  I barely am able to breathe in to tell her to give it to me, and she just chucks it on the floor, breaking the arms, and a leg off.  I now have red in my vision.  I am so mad, I cant even begin to tell you.  Being 9 weeks pregnant as well, my anger just skyrockets so fast!  My first knee jerk reaction is to start screaming at her.  But I don't.  Screaming at my kids wont do anything but make them afraid of me, something that I have never, ever wanted.  I do something that's very effective, but also breaks my heart a little.  I raise my voice, and tell Kensi in a very stern tone to come stand in front of me.  Just by that alone, she knows she's in big trouble.  The fat lip comes out, and she keeps trying to hide behind her sister.  I walk over, grab her hand, and walk her to where my beautiful, broken figurine lays.  After three quick paddles to the butt, I begin to tell her what she did wrong and that she was naughty.  The tears come fast and big.  It always hurts my heart a little whenever I have to do it, but I think that her being able to see how upset/frustrated I am also drives home that what she did was naughty.  She can actually see the effect of what she did.  If I'm always super calm, I don't think it quite registers that mommy is mad.  Telling my kids in a happy voice I'm mad isn't going to do anything, they'll probably think it's a new game.  But there's a difference in showing my anger and SHOWING my anger.  I have to take a couple steps back, count to 10 (or whatever), and wait until I don't see a lot of red anymore.  Then at least they know that mommy isn't scary and still loves them.  Some days, it takes a lot of counting!