This holiday season will be the first one since you've been gone. I feel the loss of a mother ever more now than before. Granted, you had been gone for a while before that, but now I can't just go into your room and see you there. We hadn't been on speaking terms very much for a very long time, and I'm forever sorry for that. I don't know if it was me just wanting to spread my wings before you were ready or if you didn't want me to spread them at all. Some days I feel like my childhood would have been better without you in it, but more often than not, I feel that is not true. I recall those happy memories that made me cherish the little moments in life. You were my Step-Mother, but that is not said with disrespect. It is a fact. You were not the woman who gave birth to me, but you are the woman who helped raise me. My own mother has not been in my life for quite some time either, so the feeling of losing a mother has been doubly impactful to me.
I still feel anger in how you decided to leave. Why couldn't you find the joys in life? Why could you not come out and be with the family you helped create? Why did you let the condition of your health dictate your actions and feelings? Why could you and I never fully reconcile no matter how many times we tried? Was it because you no longer wanted to? Was it because you no longer felt it would ever happen? Even if you were still here, I fear I would never know the answers to those questions. I would never be able to work up the courage to actually ask you face to face.
I still feel sorrow for the loss of your life. We had our differences, but we had many happy times as well. I long for the days when we were super close and I could tell you anything. Those days have been long gone, but I still hold them close to my heart. I feel sorrow in that you thought death would be better than life. Maybe it would be. Nobody felt what you were feeling. I wish you would have chosen life. Life for the chance to get to know your grandkids. Life for the chance to watch them grow. But, again, nobody felt what you did. I am thankful that we had one last holiday with you being apart of it. If nothing else, we have those memories.
With you being gone, I fear I will never have that Mother/Daughter relationship I've always dreamed for. It has been increasingly apparent to me that those days are gone. I hope that you feel peace and comfort knowing that we are happy and living our lives. Every day brings a chance for a little more acceptance of what I have lost and what I probably will never have again.
This first holiday without you is going to be a hard one for me. But with death brings life. I see the life in my children and I hope you do too, and that it makes you smile.
Saturday, November 24, 2018
Wednesday, November 7, 2018
Self Realization
I had a moment of self realization this morning. It seems like it probably took me longer than it should have, but better late than never.....right??
So today is a school day, and so I was firing directions to the girls like I'm a General in the Army. "Isabelle, make sure your bed is made." "Kensi, after you're done brushing your teeth, make sure the cap is back on and the toothpaste is put away.". Things like that. But I was getting into the Mom Mobile to take Kensi to school when it kind of hit me. I've been sucking it up as a housewife in a way. Now, before anyone jumps to my defense, let me explain.
Back when I was still working, I'd complain a lot about how hard it was to get off of work at 5:30p, get Isabelle (and Kensi) from daycare, get home, and figure out supper right away. I just don't have that ability to figure out something on the spot. I'm a planner. It usually takes me almost all day to figure out what I want to make for supper. Grant and I then started discussing me being a stay at home mom. I, of course, was all for the idea because I don't like going to work anyway. I'd advocate myself and say how clean the house would be, how supper would be on the table...the usual things. I talked it up quite a lot.
Well now that I am a stay at home mom, I've started realizing how many things I don't do that I should be. I pick up the house quite a bit from the day to day activities of the kids. But the cleaning falls pretty short. I've been making excuses like the kids take up so much of my time, and now I'm trying to sell my thing I crochet so that's taking up my time too. I could argue that those are reasons and not excuses, but I'll be honest. I've been using those as an excuse more than a reason. Those are true, to an extent. But they're not stopping me from actually doing the cleaning. They're just a way for me to justify not cleaning more. Yes, I get laundry done, I get the kitchen cleaned up... but the mopping and vacuuming get pushed back quite a bit. The last time I vacuumed, I did the sunroom. Just the sunroom. I should have done the living room and the girls' bedroom too. But I didn't... partly because I'm still not quite 100%, but I've done that before. A couple months ago, Grant asked me to start rotating in the garbage (wood and stuff that we tore out in the basement to start framing it) so we could get it cleaned up. We want to try and start finishing it this winter/spring. But I didn't. I just didn't. He brought it up in an offhand comment so I know it bugged him. As well it should have... I didn't hold up my end.
Just things like that that seem so little at the time, but add up to be a bigger issue. I need to do better. I'm not talking like being this Super Mommy/Wife who had everything perfect all of the time. Nope, not going to happen. But more just getting those things that aren't hurting our day to day life done so that it makes our home a little nicer.
Ok I said it, now to keep to it!!
So today is a school day, and so I was firing directions to the girls like I'm a General in the Army. "Isabelle, make sure your bed is made." "Kensi, after you're done brushing your teeth, make sure the cap is back on and the toothpaste is put away.". Things like that. But I was getting into the Mom Mobile to take Kensi to school when it kind of hit me. I've been sucking it up as a housewife in a way. Now, before anyone jumps to my defense, let me explain.
Back when I was still working, I'd complain a lot about how hard it was to get off of work at 5:30p, get Isabelle (and Kensi) from daycare, get home, and figure out supper right away. I just don't have that ability to figure out something on the spot. I'm a planner. It usually takes me almost all day to figure out what I want to make for supper. Grant and I then started discussing me being a stay at home mom. I, of course, was all for the idea because I don't like going to work anyway. I'd advocate myself and say how clean the house would be, how supper would be on the table...the usual things. I talked it up quite a lot.
Well now that I am a stay at home mom, I've started realizing how many things I don't do that I should be. I pick up the house quite a bit from the day to day activities of the kids. But the cleaning falls pretty short. I've been making excuses like the kids take up so much of my time, and now I'm trying to sell my thing I crochet so that's taking up my time too. I could argue that those are reasons and not excuses, but I'll be honest. I've been using those as an excuse more than a reason. Those are true, to an extent. But they're not stopping me from actually doing the cleaning. They're just a way for me to justify not cleaning more. Yes, I get laundry done, I get the kitchen cleaned up... but the mopping and vacuuming get pushed back quite a bit. The last time I vacuumed, I did the sunroom. Just the sunroom. I should have done the living room and the girls' bedroom too. But I didn't... partly because I'm still not quite 100%, but I've done that before. A couple months ago, Grant asked me to start rotating in the garbage (wood and stuff that we tore out in the basement to start framing it) so we could get it cleaned up. We want to try and start finishing it this winter/spring. But I didn't. I just didn't. He brought it up in an offhand comment so I know it bugged him. As well it should have... I didn't hold up my end.
Just things like that that seem so little at the time, but add up to be a bigger issue. I need to do better. I'm not talking like being this Super Mommy/Wife who had everything perfect all of the time. Nope, not going to happen. But more just getting those things that aren't hurting our day to day life done so that it makes our home a little nicer.
Ok I said it, now to keep to it!!
Thursday, October 11, 2018
Winter Hat Crochet Pattern
Hopefully you understand this! If you don't, please let me know so I can explain better! :)
Inside Insert
Band:
1. chain 6 - turn
2. chain 1 - sc in each stitch starting with 2nd from hook - turn (5)
3. ch1 - sc into back loop only all the way across - turn (5)
4. continue until length is large enough to go around your head
5. bring ends together and sc to ends together
Body:
6. sc all the way around in the posts of your band - amount of st depends on where you go through the bands - sl st into first sc - ch1
7. sc into same st then all the way around - sl st into first sc - ch 1
8. continue until body of hat encases most of your head and band fits over your ears/forehead - sl st into first sc - ch1
9. sc first 5 then sc2tog, then sc next 5, then sc2tog - repeat until end - sl st - ch1
10. sc first 4 then sc2tog, then sc next 4, then sc2tog - repeat until end - sl st - ch1
11. sc first 3 then sc2tog, then sc next 3, then sc2tog - repeat until end - sl st - ch1
12. sc first 2 then sc2tog, then sc next 2, then sc2tog - repeat until end - sl st - ch1
13. sc first, then sc2tog, then sc next st, then sc2tog - repeat until end - sl st - ch1
14 sc2tog all the way around - sl st - ch1
**repeat until hole is almost closed**
15. tie off but leave long end if doing a pom pom
Outside Hat
1. start with magic ring (or chain 4 and sl st tog to form a ring) - ch2 and dc 7 into ring
2. close ring (if started with magic ring) - sl st into first st - ch2
3. 2dc into each st - sl st - ch2
4. dc into same st then 2 dc into next, dc into next then 2dc into next - repeat all the way around - sl st - ch2
5. dc into same st - dc into next 2 st - 2 dc into next - repeat all the way around - sl st - ch2
6. dc into same st - dc into next 3 st - 2dc into next - repeat all the way around - sl st - ch2
7. dc into same st - dc into next 4 st - 2dc into next - repeat all the way around - sl st- ch2
8. dc into each st all the way around - sl st - ch2
**repeat step 8 until hat gets to length of the insert and fits over top**
Joining together
Fit both hats together and sc through both sets of loops for each hat all the way around.
Tie off and weave in ends
Inside Insert
Band:
1. chain 6 - turn
2. chain 1 - sc in each stitch starting with 2nd from hook - turn (5)
3. ch1 - sc into back loop only all the way across - turn (5)
4. continue until length is large enough to go around your head
5. bring ends together and sc to ends together
Body:
6. sc all the way around in the posts of your band - amount of st depends on where you go through the bands - sl st into first sc - ch1
7. sc into same st then all the way around - sl st into first sc - ch 1
8. continue until body of hat encases most of your head and band fits over your ears/forehead - sl st into first sc - ch1
9. sc first 5 then sc2tog, then sc next 5, then sc2tog - repeat until end - sl st - ch1
10. sc first 4 then sc2tog, then sc next 4, then sc2tog - repeat until end - sl st - ch1
11. sc first 3 then sc2tog, then sc next 3, then sc2tog - repeat until end - sl st - ch1
12. sc first 2 then sc2tog, then sc next 2, then sc2tog - repeat until end - sl st - ch1
13. sc first, then sc2tog, then sc next st, then sc2tog - repeat until end - sl st - ch1
14 sc2tog all the way around - sl st - ch1
**repeat until hole is almost closed**
15. tie off but leave long end if doing a pom pom
Outside Hat
1. start with magic ring (or chain 4 and sl st tog to form a ring) - ch2 and dc 7 into ring
2. close ring (if started with magic ring) - sl st into first st - ch2
3. 2dc into each st - sl st - ch2
4. dc into same st then 2 dc into next, dc into next then 2dc into next - repeat all the way around - sl st - ch2
5. dc into same st - dc into next 2 st - 2 dc into next - repeat all the way around - sl st - ch2
6. dc into same st - dc into next 3 st - 2dc into next - repeat all the way around - sl st - ch2
7. dc into same st - dc into next 4 st - 2dc into next - repeat all the way around - sl st- ch2
8. dc into each st all the way around - sl st - ch2
**repeat step 8 until hat gets to length of the insert and fits over top**
Joining together
Fit both hats together and sc through both sets of loops for each hat all the way around.
Tie off and weave in ends
Tuesday, August 7, 2018
"We Should Meet Up!"
There aren't many sentences or phrases that almost immediately make me roll my eyes inwardly than this one. You wouldn't think so, though. It's a pretty common phrase that's harmless. But it's also one that gets tossed around a lot with little or no follow through.
I get told this a lot, but it's gotten to the point where I don't put much stock in it anymore. If someone tells me this, I usually say "yes we should! When are you free?" if I can to which I get very noncommittal replies or just nothing in return. I'm sure some of that is because of me. It wasn't so long ago I couldn't go out or do anything because I never had the money to do it. Then when I started to have a family, I couldn't do anything because of money and also because I had a baby at home and no money for a babysitter. I'm sure after many times of saying "I can't." people just got tired of hearing it so they quit asking me. I understand that. Heaven knows I was tired of saying it and it made me feel awful every time. It seems that now that I can go out more and do things here and there, nobody really wants to anymore or can't.
Life happens, I get that. Not everyone is at the same point in their life as I am. I don't expect people to jump at the chance to do something when I have time. But I do expect that if you're going to say that phrase, then you really do want to meet up and get lunch or coffee or supper or whatever. But it bothers me to no end that I get told that, then when I keep asking when you're free I get something along the lines of "I'll have to check" then just nothing or I get told "this weekend" then when the weekend hits...crickets. If you don't want to get together, then don't say that. Or at least tell me you're pretty busy and it might be awhile. Otherwise it gets to the point where I'm at now. I'll ask once but if you don't actually tell me when you're free or we make a date, I wont push it. I won't beg someone to hang out with me. I'm a very sensitive person, I cant help it. I hurt easily. So when this happens over and over, I start to feel like maybe it's just me. I'm not fun to be around.
I know this sounds very "poor me", but it's not meant to. I've worked very hard to be a more confident person and I know I'm worth more than that. Like I said, I know life happens. It might not always work out as we'd like. But just know that I'll ask once, but that's it. I wont beg and I wont keep pushing it. It's a two way street and it can't always be me.
This isn't about anybody in particular. I am aware that I've probably done it too. I try not to and am trying to get better at it. I also don't feel like I'm always the one trying to make the plans. I'm talking about the times where I do try and make plans.
I get told this a lot, but it's gotten to the point where I don't put much stock in it anymore. If someone tells me this, I usually say "yes we should! When are you free?" if I can to which I get very noncommittal replies or just nothing in return. I'm sure some of that is because of me. It wasn't so long ago I couldn't go out or do anything because I never had the money to do it. Then when I started to have a family, I couldn't do anything because of money and also because I had a baby at home and no money for a babysitter. I'm sure after many times of saying "I can't." people just got tired of hearing it so they quit asking me. I understand that. Heaven knows I was tired of saying it and it made me feel awful every time. It seems that now that I can go out more and do things here and there, nobody really wants to anymore or can't.
Life happens, I get that. Not everyone is at the same point in their life as I am. I don't expect people to jump at the chance to do something when I have time. But I do expect that if you're going to say that phrase, then you really do want to meet up and get lunch or coffee or supper or whatever. But it bothers me to no end that I get told that, then when I keep asking when you're free I get something along the lines of "I'll have to check" then just nothing or I get told "this weekend" then when the weekend hits...crickets. If you don't want to get together, then don't say that. Or at least tell me you're pretty busy and it might be awhile. Otherwise it gets to the point where I'm at now. I'll ask once but if you don't actually tell me when you're free or we make a date, I wont push it. I won't beg someone to hang out with me. I'm a very sensitive person, I cant help it. I hurt easily. So when this happens over and over, I start to feel like maybe it's just me. I'm not fun to be around.
I know this sounds very "poor me", but it's not meant to. I've worked very hard to be a more confident person and I know I'm worth more than that. Like I said, I know life happens. It might not always work out as we'd like. But just know that I'll ask once, but that's it. I wont beg and I wont keep pushing it. It's a two way street and it can't always be me.
This isn't about anybody in particular. I am aware that I've probably done it too. I try not to and am trying to get better at it. I also don't feel like I'm always the one trying to make the plans. I'm talking about the times where I do try and make plans.
Monday, June 11, 2018
Consequences/Empty Threats
I've noticed something, and it didn't sit well with me. For the last, oh, month or so, I've noticed how lenient Grant and I are with the girls and their listening to us. If we ask/tell them to do something, we tell them another 4 or 5 times before they really get into trouble. I'm not sure what made me notice it, but once I did....I couldn't unsee it. Isabelle is 5 and Kensi is 4. That is more than old enough to understand actions have consequences. So I told Grant. We were texting while he was gone for work and I told him that it needed to change. It has just astounded me how lenient he is with them. I totally understand why though; he's gone for work quite a bit and he wants to make up for that. I get that, I really do.....but I also said we cant do that. He can "make it up" to them another way. Rules are there for a reason. Chores are there for a reason. They're to help teach the kids responsibility and to know what they can and cannot do.
So, Grant and I made a kind of deal. It's hard for him to always remember what the rules are because he's gone so much and (I'll be honest) they did change kind of a lot. But once I said that such and such rules have never changed, he has now gotten better at enforcing them. We picked one rule that I have for him to really work on enforcing, and once he gets that down we'll add another one. One of them is after the girls have bath and brush their teeth, the only thing they can have is water. No juice, milk...ect. Kensi has really pushed that a time or two, but he has remained steadfast in that rule. Once we got on the same page, I've really noticed that the girls haven't pushed that one as much anymore.
Another thing I told him is that we cant wait and repeat our request 4 or 5 times before they get into trouble. We should only be waiting at most two times before there's a consequence. In addition to that, we also have to make sure we're following through with whatever threat we're using. We have gotten really bad at that lately. I'm trying really hard to not make a threat unless I'm going to follow through with it. With that, I'm making sure that the threats I am making are ones I can easily follow through with. Like tonight after supper. It is Isabelle's chore to clear the dining room table and wash it off. She decided to do it half-assed. So I made her go back and do it again. She did a little better, but still not correctly. I told her if she didn't do it right, she would go straight to bath and have her "quiet time" and no more playing. She decided to push it one more time, so off to bath she went. Kensi got to play more while Isabelle was taking a shower by herself. I was in the bathroom with her telling her what to do, but she was doing all the work. After that, I told the girls to pick up the toys in the living room. They himmed and hawed at it. Ace needed to potty so I told the girls that if they didn't get the living room picked up by the time I got back, then I was going to turn off their Barbie and turn on one of my shows. When I got back inside, you can bet your ass they had it picked up! I've really started trying to doing better roughly last week. I've already seen some change in Isabelle at least. She's starting to understand that I'm not making empty threats anymore like I had been, that I mean business. Kensi's slowly getting there, but she's so used to being able to push the boundaries so much that she's stubbornly refusing to give it up....but I'll get her!
So far it's going well! Let's hope it keeps going!
So, Grant and I made a kind of deal. It's hard for him to always remember what the rules are because he's gone so much and (I'll be honest) they did change kind of a lot. But once I said that such and such rules have never changed, he has now gotten better at enforcing them. We picked one rule that I have for him to really work on enforcing, and once he gets that down we'll add another one. One of them is after the girls have bath and brush their teeth, the only thing they can have is water. No juice, milk...ect. Kensi has really pushed that a time or two, but he has remained steadfast in that rule. Once we got on the same page, I've really noticed that the girls haven't pushed that one as much anymore.
Another thing I told him is that we cant wait and repeat our request 4 or 5 times before they get into trouble. We should only be waiting at most two times before there's a consequence. In addition to that, we also have to make sure we're following through with whatever threat we're using. We have gotten really bad at that lately. I'm trying really hard to not make a threat unless I'm going to follow through with it. With that, I'm making sure that the threats I am making are ones I can easily follow through with. Like tonight after supper. It is Isabelle's chore to clear the dining room table and wash it off. She decided to do it half-assed. So I made her go back and do it again. She did a little better, but still not correctly. I told her if she didn't do it right, she would go straight to bath and have her "quiet time" and no more playing. She decided to push it one more time, so off to bath she went. Kensi got to play more while Isabelle was taking a shower by herself. I was in the bathroom with her telling her what to do, but she was doing all the work. After that, I told the girls to pick up the toys in the living room. They himmed and hawed at it. Ace needed to potty so I told the girls that if they didn't get the living room picked up by the time I got back, then I was going to turn off their Barbie and turn on one of my shows. When I got back inside, you can bet your ass they had it picked up! I've really started trying to doing better roughly last week. I've already seen some change in Isabelle at least. She's starting to understand that I'm not making empty threats anymore like I had been, that I mean business. Kensi's slowly getting there, but she's so used to being able to push the boundaries so much that she's stubbornly refusing to give it up....but I'll get her!
So far it's going well! Let's hope it keeps going!
Friday, May 25, 2018
Be the Change
A friend told me today that there has been another school shooting in Indiana today. So sad, it's just so sad to constantly hear about shootings in schools across our country. Every time I see or read about one, I see a lot of Facebook posts that show a victim, what they did, and to share that instead of the person who did it. Now, I semi agree with this. I agree with it because the people that gave their lives so selflessly deserve, no demand, to be recognized. They put themselves in harms way to make sure another lived. That is a hero in every and all sense of the word. But on the other side of the coin, I never hear as to WHY the shooter did it. The only reasons I've actually seen or heard is because of bullying in the school and they had a severe mental illness. There may be other reasons why various people are doing this, but these are the only reasons I have personally heard.
Because of these shootings, there has been a HUGE call to take away guns, do more to control guns...all about the guns. Which, to an extent, I agree with. But I also agree with the 2nd Amendment, as well. I don't believe that I should be able to tell the guy next door what kind of guns, if any at all, he should be able to own. In my opinion, guns don't just go around shooting people. There's always a person behind it that's pulling the trigger. I think there should some measures taken, but I don't feel that taking away guns or making them illegal will solve the problem. They made drugs illegal and they're as prominent as before.
I also believe that better background checks should be enforced and that those who have a history, diagnosis, and/or signs of mental illness should either not be allowed to have guns or be checked a bit more thoroughly depending on the severity of the illness. Technically, I have a mental illness.. I have high anxiety, but I am able to function like any person would. I know right from wrong, I am ethical, and I understand my actions have consequences. So I would fully agree to extra measures to ensure that my owning a gun wouldn't cause any problems.
Then there's the issue with bullying being the reason. Bullying has been around for as long as I've been alive, and more. It's an amazingly big problem in our country. The thing that makes me shake my hard the hardest and have a hard trouble comprehending is the fact that grown adults do a lot of bullying too. It's just amazing how many people are still name calling or tearing someone else down because they either don't understand that person or because they need to feel better about themselves. I have not seen it as high as during the election. The amount of personal attacks and name calling and being told you are just as bad as the candidate in question if you voted for him/her was absolutely mind boggling. Whatever happened to decency and being civil. You don't have to like every person you meet. You don't have to agree with whatever they agree with, but you could at least be adult and mature enough to either agree to disagree or leave them be. Why is that SO HARD of a concept for people to understand? You see someone of a different color, leave them be. You see a gay/lesbian/bi/whatever couple walking down the street, leave them be. You hear someone with opinions and thoughts that you don't agree with.... you guessed it! Leave them be!! Unless you know the person or have an actual reason to approach them..... just keep walking. It's not that complicated.
Parents, let's teach our kids that bullying is NOT ok in any way, shape, or form! If my kids get bullied in school, I am giving them my full support to retaliate (obviously not in a very severe way) if the bully wont stop after being told/asked to. I don't care if they get into trouble at school. Your kid bullies my kid, and wont stop after being told to? Well then, my kid will defend/protect themselves with my full backing. Before anyone starts yelling at me, I'm not saying I'm giving my kid the ok to beat the pulp out of someone. But if their lunch money gets stolen, then they have the right to say "no" then defend themselves upon being beat up. If they're getting touched/hit/bumped, whether inappropriately or just to be a dick, and my kid snaps and punches them in the face....you bet I'm going to be behind my kid. After a talk about hitting to hurt vs defending yourself, I'm gonna praise my kid for standing up to the bully...especially if teachers are no help.
I'm also going to make sure none of my kids are the bullies, as well. That causing someone else to feel bad is never ok. It starts at home. If you as the parent are egging the child on and not doing anything to stop it, then congratulations... you're the problem. You are the reason why my kid punched yours in the face. Don't be that parent...
I started taking a personal approach in self love and also teaching my kids that too. But I'm also trying to do more for changing a little bit of all the negativity. I'm tired of seeing it all. While sharing things and just talking about it on Facebook do help promote the awareness for it....we need to actually start doing as well. "Actions speak louder than words" is the best quote I can think of for something like this. Talking is great, but let's have more of the actions. You did something great today? Share it so others will be inspired to do something too!!
So... moral of this story? Instead of just talking about it, let's be the change. Let's build up, don't tear down!
Because of these shootings, there has been a HUGE call to take away guns, do more to control guns...all about the guns. Which, to an extent, I agree with. But I also agree with the 2nd Amendment, as well. I don't believe that I should be able to tell the guy next door what kind of guns, if any at all, he should be able to own. In my opinion, guns don't just go around shooting people. There's always a person behind it that's pulling the trigger. I think there should some measures taken, but I don't feel that taking away guns or making them illegal will solve the problem. They made drugs illegal and they're as prominent as before.
I also believe that better background checks should be enforced and that those who have a history, diagnosis, and/or signs of mental illness should either not be allowed to have guns or be checked a bit more thoroughly depending on the severity of the illness. Technically, I have a mental illness.. I have high anxiety, but I am able to function like any person would. I know right from wrong, I am ethical, and I understand my actions have consequences. So I would fully agree to extra measures to ensure that my owning a gun wouldn't cause any problems.
Then there's the issue with bullying being the reason. Bullying has been around for as long as I've been alive, and more. It's an amazingly big problem in our country. The thing that makes me shake my hard the hardest and have a hard trouble comprehending is the fact that grown adults do a lot of bullying too. It's just amazing how many people are still name calling or tearing someone else down because they either don't understand that person or because they need to feel better about themselves. I have not seen it as high as during the election. The amount of personal attacks and name calling and being told you are just as bad as the candidate in question if you voted for him/her was absolutely mind boggling. Whatever happened to decency and being civil. You don't have to like every person you meet. You don't have to agree with whatever they agree with, but you could at least be adult and mature enough to either agree to disagree or leave them be. Why is that SO HARD of a concept for people to understand? You see someone of a different color, leave them be. You see a gay/lesbian/bi/whatever couple walking down the street, leave them be. You hear someone with opinions and thoughts that you don't agree with.... you guessed it! Leave them be!! Unless you know the person or have an actual reason to approach them..... just keep walking. It's not that complicated.
Parents, let's teach our kids that bullying is NOT ok in any way, shape, or form! If my kids get bullied in school, I am giving them my full support to retaliate (obviously not in a very severe way) if the bully wont stop after being told/asked to. I don't care if they get into trouble at school. Your kid bullies my kid, and wont stop after being told to? Well then, my kid will defend/protect themselves with my full backing. Before anyone starts yelling at me, I'm not saying I'm giving my kid the ok to beat the pulp out of someone. But if their lunch money gets stolen, then they have the right to say "no" then defend themselves upon being beat up. If they're getting touched/hit/bumped, whether inappropriately or just to be a dick, and my kid snaps and punches them in the face....you bet I'm going to be behind my kid. After a talk about hitting to hurt vs defending yourself, I'm gonna praise my kid for standing up to the bully...especially if teachers are no help.
I'm also going to make sure none of my kids are the bullies, as well. That causing someone else to feel bad is never ok. It starts at home. If you as the parent are egging the child on and not doing anything to stop it, then congratulations... you're the problem. You are the reason why my kid punched yours in the face. Don't be that parent...
I started taking a personal approach in self love and also teaching my kids that too. But I'm also trying to do more for changing a little bit of all the negativity. I'm tired of seeing it all. While sharing things and just talking about it on Facebook do help promote the awareness for it....we need to actually start doing as well. "Actions speak louder than words" is the best quote I can think of for something like this. Talking is great, but let's have more of the actions. You did something great today? Share it so others will be inspired to do something too!!
So... moral of this story? Instead of just talking about it, let's be the change. Let's build up, don't tear down!
Friday, January 12, 2018
Mommy, watch this!!
Oh my girls, they love to show me things! Whether it's the bugs they find outside, the dust bunny that has collected under their little table, or whatever crazy position they can bend themselves into. It's great, they want to share their world with me. I love that, but sometimes.... just no.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE that my girls share things with me. I LOVE that they want to share things with me. But there is only so many things that I can watch/feel/see. During the summer, it's a lot easier because it's a different discovery every time. But when it's winter and they're stuck inside all day every day, it becomes very tedious very fast. What was a great discovery is now a slow and steady stream of "watch this!" and it's them just running around, or running in place. It's easy to show enthusiasm the first few times, but after the 5th "watch this, Mom!!" and you know it's going to be them doing the EXACT same thing as the last 4...well then it's a bit harder.
I cant wait for summer! When I can send them outside after they wont quit bugging me, and they'll actually want to go outside. When them running around and being crazy is a good thing instead of me constantly yelling "quit running in the house!!" every 30 seconds because they have so much energy. There's only so many activities we can do, and boredom sets in quick. They get cabin fever quick during the winter...then that's when they come up with the "Mom, watch this!" over and over and over.
Just a few more months.....just a few more months......
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE that my girls share things with me. I LOVE that they want to share things with me. But there is only so many things that I can watch/feel/see. During the summer, it's a lot easier because it's a different discovery every time. But when it's winter and they're stuck inside all day every day, it becomes very tedious very fast. What was a great discovery is now a slow and steady stream of "watch this!" and it's them just running around, or running in place. It's easy to show enthusiasm the first few times, but after the 5th "watch this, Mom!!" and you know it's going to be them doing the EXACT same thing as the last 4...well then it's a bit harder.
I cant wait for summer! When I can send them outside after they wont quit bugging me, and they'll actually want to go outside. When them running around and being crazy is a good thing instead of me constantly yelling "quit running in the house!!" every 30 seconds because they have so much energy. There's only so many activities we can do, and boredom sets in quick. They get cabin fever quick during the winter...then that's when they come up with the "Mom, watch this!" over and over and over.
Just a few more months.....just a few more months......
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