Love you so they love them

 

This. This right here. There is  no way I would ever consider telling my kids that they're useless. No way, no how. The look on their faces would just devastate me.

 

So then why do we do this to ourselves? Why would we allow such awful and toxic thoughts into our head. There could be outside help; people backstabbing you, you being told you can't do anything right, being stood up all the time, never being invited out....the list could seriously go on.  But you know what can stop that cycle? You. That's it. No amazing formula or ground  breaking news. Just you. How you react to things can make a huge impact on you perceive yourself and others around you. To quote Ms. Taylor Swift.....shake it off.

 

Oh it sounds super easy, and it's very easily typed/written out but doing it is a whole different ballgame. You can only hear those things so many times before you're just beaten down. You can only think those things so many times before you seriously and with soul certainty believe them. It is much easier to cut toxic people out of your life than to change your thinking or your reactions. You cant exactly cut yourself out of your own life.

 

There have been times where I have been so down on myself, I didn't think I'd ever pull out of it. I honestly and seriously considered deleting my whole Facebook, and "going dark" where I cut myself off of everyone I know. But what would that accomplish? Basically nothing other than me going deeper and deeper, and that's just NOT an option. I have too much at stake.

 

You  may ask, what does this have to do with parenting since that's a lot of what I write about. Well, I will tell you. If you can't love yourself and you are constantly doing and saying things to put yourself down, what is that teaching your children? You are a model for them. Parents show their kids how they should treat themselves and others. I would be appalled if I caught my kids putting down others. That would not fly in this house. I would be devastated if they came to me and said they didn't like themselves or started point out their "flaws" as they view them. I tell my kids all the time that they're beautiful/handsome, but also smart and capable. When they get into the higher grades where kids get meaner and bullies really start happening, I want my kids to know that they're great. I don't want them to ever question their worth. But all of that starts at home, with you.

 

You don't like something about yourself? Ok, change it. Make more lists to get more organized, start walking, start doing brain teasers, buy more cookbooks, go to a mirror and repeat after me; "I am beautiful. I am worth having around. I am ENOUGH"....whatever it is that you can do to make you love yourself more.

 

Your kids love you, and so should you!!

Oh, back to school....back to school.....

I'm just going to say it:

I am really excited for the girls to be back in school after Christmas break.

It's not that I don't love having them home, because I do. It's because as much as I love having them home, William and I get some good one on one time and it's a bit easier to get things done when they're gone. Today, I have to get the house cleaned back up again, and it's about impossible when they're home. Plus, they get to see their friends and play with kids their own age. Playing with each other is great, but it's nice that they can play with different people. Poor William only has his sisters right now, and they kind of overtake everything when they're home.

Also? It's great for my sanity. They're at an age where they are really pushing their boundaries with me. Them not listening or me needing to tell them to do something about 10 times, and that's not an exaggeration, really starts to wear on me. It's a song and dance that seems to go on with no end in sight. It's nice to have a break from that. Kind of refueling my "Mommy Engine" so to speak.

William isn't as bad, but he still keeps me on my toes. It's easier for me to work with him on talking. He can say ball, up, down, Ace, Mom, Dad, hi, and on pretty easily now. Still working on him saying the word when we ask what the object is, though. It's slow, but it's coming. If we can keep this up, he may not qualify for speech therapy. We've put a pin in that because we decided to wait until he's 3 and just do it through the school instead of having a middle man and a ton of "assessments" with different people. Having this one on one time with him may help a ton. Whether or not it'll work, I have no idea. But at least I gave it my best shot!

So.....do I love having the girls home? Oh yes! They make my smile and laugh daily.


Am I also glad they're back in school for the next 4 months? Oh hell yes!

New Year.... New Me.....ooooor not

I know I did this as a Facebook post on January 1st, but I've been seeing a lot of New Years Resolutions and meme's about it and it got me thinking more about them.

I don't typically make new year resolutions, but sometimes I'll do goals. This year, I want to be able to cook more than the same things over and over. I'm not comfortable in the kitchen cooking like I am baking. I'll damn near try to bake anything if I have a reason to. But cooking, I always seem to fall back on the same easy recipes that I've made a thousand times before.

.....but I digress.

This year, I didn't make any resolutions. I don't really believe in them. If I did, it would be the same one over and over; to just be better than I was the year before. Not in any specific way either. Just as a person, all around. There definitely needs to be more kindness in the world, and that wont happen if people just don't start to try.

I see a lot of big, long posts about people making a huge deal out of what their resolutions are. I have found that (sometimes) the people that make the biggest deal out of them are often the ones that don't put their money where their mouth is. Over the years, I've seen these big posts, then as the year goes on, nothing ever seems to change. The ones that say they wont air their dirty laundry on Facebook still do with alarmingly increasing rates. The ones that say they wont badmouth people often are the first to point out flaws.....the list goes on.

New Year Resolutions seem to be a popular thing to make, but not a popular thing to actually strive to achieve. I don't want my kids to grow up thinking it's cooler to make the resolutions/goals than it is to actually achieve them. That's not what they're supposed to be about.

If you want to make a resolution, awesome! I am all for that!! Go team!! But please don't be the person that makes a huge deal about all the better you're going to do then just do nothing. It is the most anticlimactic thing and it's pretty sad if you think about it.

My favorite quote is "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" by Lao Tzu. I have referenced this quote many times, and I'm sure I will keep doing it. You cant achieve anything, big or, if you don't take that first step. 

So you want to resolve yourself to something. Amazing, more power to you....let's see that first step!