Bedtime - Trials and a whole lot of errors

For the last few nights, Kensi had been going down really nice, and staying down all night too!  She had been getting up a couple times a night, and every night.  And some nights it wasn't just one or two times.  No, it was 3 or 4 times.  That, coupled with being this pregnant, made the days (and sometimes my temper) really long.  Then Isabelle started doing it too.  I knew something had to be up...she hadn't woken up at night in a long time.  So I started trying to think of what it could be.  Was it because they sometimes went to sleep really mad and crying?  Or because they were cold?  Or was it really just a phase that needed to run its course.  The phase seemed to be the most likely for Kensi, and for a long time I just wrote it off as that.  But with Isabelle, I thought it had to be something that was waking her up.  And she wasn't awake when she got up, she was still more than half asleep.  So she'd come into our room, I'd pick her up and bring her back to bed, and she'd go right down.  Started actually looking at their room when I put them back to bed to see if I could spot anything amiss.  I noticed a few times that Izzy's comforter was on the floor.  So I asked her one morning if she was waking up because she was cold.  She said yes.  Half a lightbulb went off, and that night, I gave her a bigger spare blanket.  It's nice and warm too, so I thought if that was the culprit, the blanket should fix it.  Lo and behold, she hasn't woken up in the middle of the night since.  After patting myself on the back for figuring it out, I turned my attention back to Kensi.  I wasn't really ready to give up on it being just a phase yet.  I had tried so many different things, and even made slight changes to their bedtime routine.  The base of the routine itself has always stayed the same; after supper, the girls get a little play time until about 630p which is bath time.  They take a bath from 630p to 7p, then I get them out, jammered, and get their teeth brushed....now this is where I was having a bit of trouble.  I couldn't seem to figure out the best activity for them in the time between their teeth bring brushed and actually going to bed.  They had stopped wanting to be read to, and instead wanted to read themselves.  So for a bit, I was letting them read in bed.  I had the main light out and just the lamp on.  But soon that became a chore for me because they weren't settling down and Kensi was getting out of bed multiple times.  Talk about frustration city!  So I stopped with books completely and broke them up.  Right after teeth brushing, Kensi went down first and Isabelle went downstairs to watch her show for some quiet time before bed.  That seemed to help because Kensi no longer had her playmate to keep her riled up; and that was the biggest problem. They'd get so riled up that they weren't at all calm when it hit bedtime.  Then it was keeping Kensi in bed and not coming out right away.  I knew that would just take time, and there's no easy fixes.  So I just dealt with that, and the times where I was getting frustrated, Grant took over for me or he put her down.  But after a while of that, Isabelle started having tantrums about going to bed.  So Grant started to put them down together again.  At first, I was adamantly against it.  I had worked so hard to establish a routine for them, and here he was messing it all up.  But the man is smart!  It didn't make Kensi do a complete 180, but he got the point across to her that bedtime meant bedtime and we were serious.  So for a while, we had to basically hold her like a baby in our arms, rocking in the chair, and hold her still so she couldn't move or wiggle around.  Not the nicest method, but it got the point across.  We only had to do that for a short time (in comparison to everything else) before she got the memo and we no longer need to.  I wanted to start reading to them again because I missed the cuddle time, so on one of our errands, I had let them both pick out a book.  Isabelle wanted Peter Pan and Kensi grabbed Aladdin.  Now, after getting teeth brushed and being ready for bed, I grab one or both books, have both of them on my lap (which is not easy!), and read the book.  It's a nice long one so they're nice and calm and relaxed by the time I'm done.  Sometimes Kensi doesn't even make it through the whole book before she wiggles off of my lap and goes to lay down.  After the story, I turn out the lamp, sing Isabelle her song (I made up a song for her and one for Kensi), give her hugs and kisses, go to Kensi and do the same thing if she wants, then I can walk out of the room without having to sit right by the door in case Kensi comes out.  I can go downstairs and do stuff.  Sometimes she still comes down, but after I put her back to bed the first (and sometimes second) time, she stays.  But the middle of the night was still a struggle.  So when Isabelle told me she was waking up because she was cold, and that half a lightbulb went off....the rest of it went off when I thought maybe that was the reason she was waking up.  Made sense.  If one girl is cold, chances are both could be.  So I started turning up the heat at night.  Once I did that, she stopped waking up!!  For 4 nights in a row, she slept through the night and would get up at like 630/7a...which is a perfectly ok time for her to wake up.  Granted it's early for me, but she'll come in bed with me and we'll snuggle...sometimes she'll fall back asleep and sometimes she wont.  Now we need to make sure the house is a little warmer at night.  We probably wouldn't have to if she would keep blankets on her, but for some reason she does not want a blanket over her.  If we try and put one on her, she immediately says no and takes it off.  But at least, for now, I've got her sleeping through the night.  Big high five to me!!

This ain't easy!!

The day is over, and everyone is in bed....well everyone except me, of course.  I had to pick up from the day, and just do a couple odds and ends that I hadn't gotten done before.  But both girls are all fresh faced and sleeping soundly.  Even Grant is sleeping, which isn't surprising since he's been go go go all weekend.  Normally, I view weekends as a sort of reprieve of having to do everything by myself.  Grant is home and I can ask him for help doing things, or just have him take point on the girls so I can sit for a while.  But this weekend, it's been like he's been at work the whole time.  He's been helping a friend remodel a room in his mom's house.  So he's been leaving around 8:30am and not getting home until right at supper, or even after.  So it's been up to me to do everything; keep the house clean, plan and make the meals, do any shopping that needs to be done, and tonight I had to get the girls in bed by myself too.  Normally it's not too terrible, but it's getting harder the more pregnant I'm becoming.  It really helps to have Grant push the cart with either or both girls in it and I can just walk.  Since he wasn't home to help, I had to do it myself.  It was only about an hour that we were gone, but at the end it felt like 4 hours.  I got home and my back was just killing me.  I was able to sit down for a little bit, but then I had to get up and make supper, then do the dishes, then get the girls in bath, get them out and in jammers, brush teeth, then read story before bed.  Thank God they went down really nice, that helps a lot.  Now I have a moment to myself to where I can get some of these thoughts down that have been pinging around in my head.
As I said before, being a stay at home mom is getting almost harder the more pregnant I am.  I'm almost 8 months, and it's really starting to feel that way.  Normally, I'm tired and that's about as far as it goes.  But now, I'm starting to hurt when I'm up too long.  So it's really a balance between resting and putting my feet up and making sure the house is still running.  When Grant took this job a few years ago, I knew the time he was away would be a little harder on me because I really had to step up to the plate.  Until recently, it wasn't bad.  But I know these last couple months until the baby is born is going to suck major ass for me.  It's hard enough to not see another adult, let alone have an adult conversation, for days at a time, but also factor in the physical part...and it's a whole new ballgame.  It's been a little bit of a struggle not to get mad when Grant says he wants to go out with friends, or he's been asked to help with something.  And it's not because I think he's doing anything wrong...not by a long shot.  It's more of me being a little selfish and thinking "what about me??".  I haven't really been able to hang out with friends for a while now.  I cant go out for a beer with anyone, and just even being out and about is hard enough.  But it doesn't stop the want and it doesn't keep the loneliness at bay when it starts to creep up.  I'm sure anyone that's a stay at home mom can agree that you get lonely after a while when the only other adults you see are shoppers at grocery stores or the cashiers.  I've started to almost become dependent on Grant to be that other adult when he's home...even though I know he's had a hard week and just wants to relax or get some stuff done that he's been putting off.  One good thing about me is that I know when I'm being foolish and I can stop that line of thinking before it comes out and he starts to worry that I'm not happy with how our life is.  But I am.  I may bitch and moan a lot, but at the end of the day, I still love being at home with my girls.  I cant imagine going back to work full time and missing all the moments that I've been able to be apart of.  It's just adding being pregnant and hormonal to the mix is really throwing me for a loop.  But I know I just have to get through these next couple months and I wont be as sore and achy as I am now.  I can go back to being "me" and not this sometimes hormonal mess that I seem to be becoming.  I know my hormones can be out of whack for a while, but at least I'll be able to bathe my children without my back killing me or my legs starting to hurt.  I'll be able to walk up the stairs with a basket of laundry without breathing like I've run a marathon.  I just have to keep reminding myself that it will get better, and it will be fun like it was before.  I love being pregnant, and I love being a stay at home mom....but the two together aren't exactly a picnic lol

****DISCLAIMER**** I don't resent Grant for anything and I don't hate staying home anymore.  My hormonal side hates when he goes out, by my logical side knows better.  I don't want anyone to think that I'm starting to resent him or actually get mad.  I'm not.  I still love him, and my life.  But it helps to vent out when things are hard so it doesn't fester. 

Yes, I'm pregnant and hormonal...but that's not a pass

I was reading a "15 Things Pregnant Women Need To Stop Doing" type of article on Facebook (I know, what a surprise lol) and there were a lot of "stop comparing themselves to other moms" and "posting their weekly update on the baby" type things, which I know are serious, but those are in almost every one of those types of lists.  I know I'm guilty of things that are on those lists, but one of the ones I've been waiting to see is never on there; the "quit being a bitch to everyone, especially you're significant other" one.  I didn't get very hormonal with Kensi and Izzy, but with Baby Boy, I'm all sorts of hormonal.  There have been times where I've snapped at Grant or something the girls did made me way more upset than it would have usually.  Thank God that Grant is very understanding and isn't holding it against me.  I know when the crazy is coming on, and for the most part, I can tamp it down and calm myself before it comes out.  But when I cant, and I know I'm being irrational, believe me I feel really bad afterwards.  But what I have never and will never do is use being pregnant as an excuse to be a bitch to Grant or anyone else just because.  It doesn't give women a pass to be total snots and turn into mega divas.  I couldn't imagine waking Grant up at 3am to go get me something to eat; whether from the fridge or the store.  To me, that's just ludicrous!  I would never ridicule him for how he made a meal as long as it was edible, and I sure as shit don't expect him to make it just so either.  I'm happy as hell that he made supper or lunch, or whatever it may be.  Even when he brings me a snack when I didn't ask because he knows I'm hungry (because let's face it I always am) I get super sappy and lovey.  I mean seriously, if I want a sandwich, then I'll go and make it myself.  The only way I'd ask Grant to do it (and notice I said ask, not make) is if my back was killing me or there was something that was making it really hard to get up.  Otherwise, I'm pregnant.....not disabled. 
There is nothing preventing women from getting up off the couch and getting things themselves.  I don't expect him to get everything for me, or all of the sudden do all the housework either.  I still do the laundry and make sure the house is clean and make supper almost every night.  Grant works really hard, and some days he's had a really long day.  Why would I want to pile more stuff on him when I'm perfectly capable of doing it like I have been?
So women, if you're pregnant like me, and you find yourself doing this....KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF!!!  Yes, you are carrying his/her (if surrogate or gay) child, and yes that is tiring, but it doesn't give you the right to turn into some obnoxious, overbearing, demanding shrew to your man.  Make sure you tend to his needs too.  It's not all about you, you didn't climb on top of yourself and get pregnant.  It's his child as well as yours, remember that.  Do not demean him or demand some ridiculous thing from him, and for all that is friggin holy....make sure he knows that you appreciate him.  Your relationship isn't put on hold because you're pregnant.  You still have to care for it like you are caring for the child inside of you.