I've noticed something, and it didn't sit well with me. For the last, oh, month or so, I've noticed how lenient Grant and I are with the girls and their listening to us. If we ask/tell them to do something, we tell them another 4 or 5 times before they really get into trouble. I'm not sure what made me notice it, but once I did....I couldn't unsee it. Isabelle is 5 and Kensi is 4. That is more than old enough to understand actions have consequences. So I told Grant. We were texting while he was gone for work and I told him that it needed to change. It has just astounded me how lenient he is with them. I totally understand why though; he's gone for work quite a bit and he wants to make up for that. I get that, I really do.....but I also said we cant do that. He can "make it up" to them another way. Rules are there for a reason. Chores are there for a reason. They're to help teach the kids responsibility and to know what they can and cannot do.
So, Grant and I made a kind of deal. It's hard for him to always remember what the rules are because he's gone so much and (I'll be honest) they did change kind of a lot. But once I said that such and such rules have never changed, he has now gotten better at enforcing them. We picked one rule that I have for him to really work on enforcing, and once he gets that down we'll add another one. One of them is after the girls have bath and brush their teeth, the only thing they can have is water. No juice, milk...ect. Kensi has really pushed that a time or two, but he has remained steadfast in that rule. Once we got on the same page, I've really noticed that the girls haven't pushed that one as much anymore.
Another thing I told him is that we cant wait and repeat our request 4 or 5 times before they get into trouble. We should only be waiting at most two times before there's a consequence. In addition to that, we also have to make sure we're following through with whatever threat we're using. We have gotten really bad at that lately. I'm trying really hard to not make a threat unless I'm going to follow through with it. With that, I'm making sure that the threats I am making are ones I can easily follow through with. Like tonight after supper. It is Isabelle's chore to clear the dining room table and wash it off. She decided to do it half-assed. So I made her go back and do it again. She did a little better, but still not correctly. I told her if she didn't do it right, she would go straight to bath and have her "quiet time" and no more playing. She decided to push it one more time, so off to bath she went. Kensi got to play more while Isabelle was taking a shower by herself. I was in the bathroom with her telling her what to do, but she was doing all the work. After that, I told the girls to pick up the toys in the living room. They himmed and hawed at it. Ace needed to potty so I told the girls that if they didn't get the living room picked up by the time I got back, then I was going to turn off their Barbie and turn on one of my shows. When I got back inside, you can bet your ass they had it picked up! I've really started trying to doing better roughly last week. I've already seen some change in Isabelle at least. She's starting to understand that I'm not making empty threats anymore like I had been, that I mean business. Kensi's slowly getting there, but she's so used to being able to push the boundaries so much that she's stubbornly refusing to give it up....but I'll get her!
So far it's going well! Let's hope it keeps going!
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