Self Realization

I had a moment of self realization this morning. It seems like it probably took me longer than it should have, but better late than never.....right??

So today is a school day, and so I was firing directions to the girls like I'm a General in the Army. "Isabelle, make sure your bed is made." "Kensi, after you're done brushing your teeth, make sure the cap is back on and the toothpaste is put away.". Things like that. But I was getting into the Mom Mobile to take Kensi to school when it kind of hit me. I've been sucking it up as a housewife in a way. Now, before anyone jumps to my defense, let me explain.

Back when I was still working, I'd complain a lot about how hard it was to get off of work at 5:30p, get Isabelle (and Kensi) from daycare, get home, and figure out supper right away. I just don't have that ability to figure out something on the spot. I'm a planner. It usually takes me almost all day to figure out what I want to make for supper. Grant and I then started discussing me being a stay at home mom. I, of course, was all for the idea because I don't like going to work anyway. I'd advocate myself and say how clean the house would be, how supper would be on the table...the usual things. I talked it up quite a lot.

Well now that I am a stay at home mom, I've started realizing how many things I don't do that I should be. I pick up the house quite a bit from the day to day activities of the kids. But the cleaning falls pretty short. I've been making excuses like the kids take up so much of my time, and now I'm trying to sell my thing I crochet so that's taking up my time too. I could argue that those are reasons and not excuses, but I'll be honest. I've been using those as an excuse more than a reason. Those are true, to an extent. But they're not stopping me from actually doing the cleaning. They're just a way for me to justify not cleaning more. Yes, I get laundry done, I get the kitchen cleaned up... but the mopping and vacuuming get pushed back quite a bit. The last time I vacuumed, I did the sunroom.  Just the sunroom. I should have done the living room and the girls' bedroom too. But I didn't... partly because I'm still not quite 100%, but I've done that before. A couple months ago, Grant asked me to start rotating in the garbage (wood and stuff that we tore out in the basement to start framing it) so we could get it cleaned up. We want to try and start finishing it this winter/spring. But I didn't. I just didn't. He brought it up in an offhand comment so I know it bugged him. As well it should have... I didn't hold up my end.

Just things like that that seem so little at the time, but add up to be a bigger issue. I need to do better. I'm not talking like being this Super Mommy/Wife who had everything perfect all of the time. Nope, not going to happen. But more just getting those things that aren't hurting our day to day life done so that it makes our home a little nicer.

Ok I said it, now to keep to it!!