"We Should Meet Up!"

There aren't many sentences or phrases that almost immediately make me roll my eyes inwardly than this one. You wouldn't think so, though. It's a pretty common phrase that's harmless. But it's also one that gets tossed around a lot with little or no follow through.

I get told this a lot, but it's gotten to the point where I don't put much stock in it anymore. If someone tells me this, I usually say "yes we should! When are you free?" if I can to which I get very noncommittal replies or just nothing in return. I'm sure some of that is because of me. It wasn't so long ago I couldn't go out or do anything because I never had the money to do it. Then when I started to have a family, I couldn't do anything because of money and also because I had a baby at home and no money for a babysitter. I'm sure after many times of saying "I can't." people just got tired of hearing it so they quit asking me. I understand that. Heaven knows I was tired of saying it and it made me feel awful every time. It seems that now that I can go out more and do things here and there, nobody really wants to anymore or can't.

Life happens, I get that. Not everyone is at the same point in their life as I am. I don't expect people to jump at the chance to do something when I have time. But I do expect that if you're going to say that phrase, then you really do want to meet up and get lunch or coffee or supper or whatever. But it bothers me to no end that I get told that, then when I keep asking when you're free I get something along the lines of "I'll have to check" then just nothing or I get told "this weekend" then when the weekend hits...crickets. If you don't want to get together, then don't say that. Or at least tell me you're pretty busy and it might be awhile. Otherwise it gets to the point where I'm at now. I'll ask once but if you don't actually tell me when you're free or we make a date, I wont push it. I won't beg someone to hang out with me. I'm a very sensitive person, I cant help it. I hurt easily. So when this happens over and over, I start to feel like maybe it's just me. I'm not fun to be around.

I know this sounds very "poor me", but it's not meant to. I've worked very hard to be a more confident person and I know I'm worth more than that.  Like I said, I know life happens. It might not always work out as we'd like. But just know that I'll ask once, but that's it. I wont beg and I wont keep pushing it. It's a two way street and it can't always be me.

This isn't about anybody in particular. I am aware that I've probably done it too. I try not to and am trying to get better at it.  I also don't feel like I'm always the one trying to make the plans. I'm talking about the times where I do try and make plans.