This. This right here. There is no way I would ever consider telling my kids that they're useless. No way, no how. The look on their faces would just devastate me.
So then why do we do this to ourselves? Why would we allow such awful and toxic thoughts into our head. There could be outside help; people backstabbing you, you being told you can't do anything right, being stood up all the time, never being invited out....the list could seriously go on. But you know what can stop that cycle? You. That's it. No amazing formula or ground breaking news. Just you. How you react to things can make a huge impact on you perceive yourself and others around you. To quote Ms. Taylor Swift.....shake it off.
Oh it sounds super easy, and it's very easily typed/written out but doing it is a whole different ballgame. You can only hear those things so many times before you're just beaten down. You can only think those things so many times before you seriously and with soul certainty believe them. It is much easier to cut toxic people out of your life than to change your thinking or your reactions. You cant exactly cut yourself out of your own life.
There have been times where I have been so down on myself, I didn't think I'd ever pull out of it. I honestly and seriously considered deleting my whole Facebook, and "going dark" where I cut myself off of everyone I know. But what would that accomplish? Basically nothing other than me going deeper and deeper, and that's just NOT an option. I have too much at stake.
You may ask, what does this have to do with parenting since that's a lot of what I write about. Well, I will tell you. If you can't love yourself and you are constantly doing and saying things to put yourself down, what is that teaching your children? You are a model for them. Parents show their kids how they should treat themselves and others. I would be appalled if I caught my kids putting down others. That would not fly in this house. I would be devastated if they came to me and said they didn't like themselves or started point out their "flaws" as they view them. I tell my kids all the time that they're beautiful/handsome, but also smart and capable. When they get into the higher grades where kids get meaner and bullies really start happening, I want my kids to know that they're great. I don't want them to ever question their worth. But all of that starts at home, with you.
You don't like something about yourself? Ok, change it. Make more lists to get more organized, start walking, start doing brain teasers, buy more cookbooks, go to a mirror and repeat after me; "I am beautiful. I am worth having around. I am ENOUGH"....whatever it is that you can do to make you love yourself more.
Your kids love you, and so should you!!
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