A little bit ago, I posted a picture of William sleeping in his pack n play bassinet downstairs. He's on his tummy, and I know there is a lot of controversy surrounding that because of SIDS. After I posted it, I went up to take a shower, and then started thinking about that post. I did my caption, then at the bottom put a little disclaimer at the bottom of it. I thought about the other times I've had to do that because I know there is always someone that will post on there how dangerous it is or that I shouldn't do it..ect. Got me thinking more about it, and isn't it sad that I feel like I have to do that? It seems like I cant post controversial things like that without fear of getting shamed or flamed for it. Flamed meaning someone attacks me for it. It doesn't just stop at posting things on Facebook, either. I see the articles in the newspaper or the videos on Facebook of parents getting shamed for things; mothers for breastfeeding their kids in public, parents for feeding their child formula instead of breast milk, for putting their baby face forward before people think it's acceptable... the list goes on. Why? It makes it so you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. The ones that get me the most are the breastfeeding in public and the formula versus breast milk.
There is a picture going around on Facebook of Nicki Minaj with an outfit that leaves one breast hanging out with a pasty on it so it doesn't show her nipple. The other side of the picture is a breastfeeding mother feeding her baby. The caption reads something like "why is this acceptable, but this not?". It's so very true. It's just fine for someone to have their boobs all hanging out and people don't even bat an eye. But a woman breastfeeds in public, and you cant even see the entire boob, let alone a nipple, and people are all up in arms about it. How does that make sense? It makes me mad to hear people tell the mother to take it to the bathroom. Like really? Nasty. I never personally had an issue with this because I don't nurse, I pump and use a bottle, but what a way to make a woman feel really small and inferior. I would love to see someone actually make the asshole who says it take his/her food into a bathroom and eat it. See how it feels. Maybe someone has, I don't know. But I'd love to see it. Yes, boobs are sexual...but they're also practical. I really hope I'm alive to see breastfeeding in public more normalized and not so taboo.
I don't mind pumping too much, it makes me happy that I've been able to produce enough for all the kids to have it for at least the first 6 months of their life. But if I'm perfectly honest, and I always try to be on here, I'd rather stop after a while and switch to formula. Yes, breast milk has been proven to be better for the baby because of all the stuff that gets passed on from me. But it's annoying to be hooked up to a pump for 15-20min every 3ish hours. It feels really weird, and it makes my nipples constantly sensitive. Plus the damn pads are annoying, and I'd like to not have to worry about milk leaking out so much that it overpowers the pad and goes onto my shirts. It'd be nice to have my boobs back lol Plus, if formula was as bad as it's made out to be, it wouldn't be fed to babies. It wouldn't be available to buy, and it would have been pulled from shelves a hell of a long time ago. It's not as good as breast milk, but it does the job. There is absolutely no shame in using formula instead of breast milk, whether by want or necessity. I always think of when Isabelle was an infant and we were at my in laws. A friend of theirs had come over and asked if I breast fed or used formula. When I answered that I breastfed, she said "oh good, because formula is the devil" or something to that effect. Number 1 - it shouldn't be anyone's business how I feed my baby and number 2 - just know that my baby is fed and happy. I refuse to feel bad that I'd be more than ok with feeding William formula if we were ok with spending the money on it. But breast milk is free lol and that's a huge thing for us right now.
Raising kids is hard. Taking care of infants is hard. Why do people feel the need to make it even harder? Dammit, stop it!
I agree with everything you said above except car seat stuff. We should all be more accepting of other families choices, even if they differ from our own. The car seat stuff to me, is a safety issue (in fact in a lot of states it's now illegal to turn before 2)I don't judge other Mom's that turn their kids earlier though, I do just let them know in a nice way of course of the safety benefits of keeping kids RF until at least 2.
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