I show my anger to the girls

Some days around my house are glorious; we all wake up happy, the girls are so good and eat their meals, I have every meal figured out beforehand, and no one gets into trouble.  Those are the days that make up for the ones that are not so glorious.  But I'm a realist, I know there are going to be days where I want to tear my hair out.  Or there will be certain things that happen that make me want to scream at the top of my lungs.  Take today for instance.  Some backstory: Grant knows how much I love Willow Folk.  So for each girls birth, he has bought me one to celebrate it, and he's bought me one for a couple other things too.  Today, Kensi decided to grab the one that celebrates her birth.  It is one where the mother is kneeling down beside the husband, who is sitting on the floor holding the baby.  Both girls know they aren't supposed to remotely touch them.  So I'm in the office printing some pictures, and doing other random things I've been meaning to get done.  I hear some beeping and know that they're messing with the dehumidifier, another no no.  So I get up, and right as I come around the corner, Kensi bolts from the dehumidifier into the kitchen, holding my Willow Folk figurine.  I barely am able to breathe in to tell her to give it to me, and she just chucks it on the floor, breaking the arms, and a leg off.  I now have red in my vision.  I am so mad, I cant even begin to tell you.  Being 9 weeks pregnant as well, my anger just skyrockets so fast!  My first knee jerk reaction is to start screaming at her.  But I don't.  Screaming at my kids wont do anything but make them afraid of me, something that I have never, ever wanted.  I do something that's very effective, but also breaks my heart a little.  I raise my voice, and tell Kensi in a very stern tone to come stand in front of me.  Just by that alone, she knows she's in big trouble.  The fat lip comes out, and she keeps trying to hide behind her sister.  I walk over, grab her hand, and walk her to where my beautiful, broken figurine lays.  After three quick paddles to the butt, I begin to tell her what she did wrong and that she was naughty.  The tears come fast and big.  It always hurts my heart a little whenever I have to do it, but I think that her being able to see how upset/frustrated I am also drives home that what she did was naughty.  She can actually see the effect of what she did.  If I'm always super calm, I don't think it quite registers that mommy is mad.  Telling my kids in a happy voice I'm mad isn't going to do anything, they'll probably think it's a new game.  But there's a difference in showing my anger and SHOWING my anger.  I have to take a couple steps back, count to 10 (or whatever), and wait until I don't see a lot of red anymore.  Then at least they know that mommy isn't scary and still loves them.  Some days, it takes a lot of counting!