I've been talking to my cousin and a friend of mine about wine. By now, I hope, you guys know how much I love wine. But then my cousin started getting into cheese, too. I love cheese, but I've never had the "fancy cheese" like gouda or anything like that that gets paired with wine. It made it harder for me to stay in the conversation because I don't have much, if anything, to contribute. Not that it's new to me. I seem to have this same problem. It's always made me feel like I'm not as....educated would probably be the best word for this....as others. I struggle with this a lot. Sometimes I feel like I hadn't/haven't really done anything with my life, before my family. I never finished college or got a career. I just kept staying at dead end (for me) jobs that just paid the bills. I think of 3 of my brothers that finished college, got their careers, and I always wonder if they're disappointed in me. Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be in a field to where I'd help people; teacher, doctor, vet, or phycologist were what I kept going to. But in the end, I decided on something I'd never remotely thought of before, went two years, and dropped out. What if I had finished? Maybe I'd feel smarter and not so unsure of myself. Having my family has helped in that respect. It's given me more of an identity and a purpose. I love being a mother and a wife. I love staying home with my kids. If I never had to work again, I'd be more than fine with that. But some part of me wishes I would have finished college or studied more things. I know what you're going to say; "But Kris, you can still go back!". While yes, in theory I can...but at this point in my life I feel like that ship has sailed. Maybe down the road I'll feel differently, but that's where I'm at right now.
**Disclaimer**
I'm nowhere near unhappy with my life. Just some things that always bother me a little
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